Chicken or the Egg

I usually try to stay away from politically and religiously charged blog postings that do nothing but anger anyone and everyone whose eyes happen to pass over the stinging words, but today may be different. Why will it be different? I guess just to mix it up a little – to stir up the ol’ pot if you know what I’m sayin’. Sometime it’s good to put a little spicy mustard on your sandwich when all you ever use is plain old yellow. I don’t know how anyone would choose yellow mustard over spicy, however, up until now, my blogs have been more benign than that mole on your left forearm.

So in case you didn’t hear, a 31 year old man in Washington State named Naveed Afzal Haq was recently arrested for opening fire on the Jewish Federation of Greater Seattle. Naveed was of course Muslim and from the outside this looks like an obvious case of Muslim hatred toward Jews. It would be easy to blame the shooting on one fanatic individual, but let us investigate the situation a bit further.

Haq had a history of being troubled and was on medication for bi-polar disorder. He was an excellent student in high school, but much to the chagrin of his parents, was unable to finish dental school in Philadelphia. He ended up back in Washington as a confused, mentally ill individual, who was unlucky with the ladies and obviously ashamed of his failure to fulfill the wishes of his parents. I think this situation is one of a troubled kid screaming for approval from his demanding parents.

His father, a civil engineer, is a founding member of the local Islamic Center in the south-central Washington town in which Haq grew up. From the testimony of some of Haq’s close friends his parent’s were less than pleased with his failure to finish dental school. And from the description I’ve read of his father, I believe it.

Haq’s father seems to have the characteristics of an overbearing parent. The fact that he was a founder of the Islamic center in his town is evidence of a strong willed individual. I believe personality traits are evident in work, outside of work, and in relationships. For better or worse, we can’t escape our personalities. Naveed’s father’s driven personality applied to his relationship with his children just as it applied to his driven personal life.

This story of Naveed reminds me of yet another son of an engineer who made extreme decisions. In 1991, upon his graduation from Emory University, Chris McCandless gave his $25,000 trust fund (intended for his law school tuition) to charity and set forth on a lone trek into the wilderness of Alaska that left him tragically dead in an abandoned school bus. Chris never gave exact reasoning for his actions, but there was certainly evidence that his lack of desire to fulfill his parent’s wishes contributed to his behavior.

I’ve often seen educated parent’s put unnecessary pressure on their children. For people that are supposed to be so smart, this is the dumbest thing they could do. When looking at the actions of people like Naveed Afzal Haq and Chris McCandless we should take a step back and think about what may have put them in that position.


Give John Poole some unsolicited advice at poolejohn@gmail.com

Anti-Superficial Day

It’s hot.

It’s hotter than hell, heaven, heck, hades, habana, haiku, Hamsterdam, Hanukkah, jalapenos, Harlem, Havertown, Helen Hunt (in “Twister”), and HDTV.

O.K, I’m done. I feel much better now, however not cooler.

I know there really should be no complaining of the heat in the Vail Valley since there are only about two weeks a year that air conditioning is even remotely considered. It’s not an option for me because I don’t have it, or it doesn’t work, or something like that. And feel free to throw this back in my face when it’s minus 22 degrees (Fahrenheit) this winter, however I’ll deny ever writing this.

For me, as a native east coaster, Colorado summertime climate (especially in the mountains) is more arctic than tropical. But when July brings memories of growing up in the swampland of the Mid-Atlantic my negative attitude toward heat, and it’s nasty cousin humidity, inevitability comes gushing out faster than sweat from my exhausted pours.

Do you ever get the, “Is it hot enough for ya?” line at work? It’s right up there with, “Staying out of trouble?” and, “Doin’ OK for a Monday?” – I got that today actually.

What is the obsession with office talk about the weather? And it doesn’t only show up in the workplace – conversation with folks from other parts of the country is often chuck full of “how’s the weather” this and “what’s the weather like” that. A convenient topic I suppose, but it’s really nothing I’m dying to talk about after a night of attempting to sleep in a pool of perspiration.

Weather is the most benign topic about which any two human beings can possibly converse. It’s easy, sometimes entertaining, and most importantly, always there.

We should have one day a year that is nationally recognized as a day where you can’t use office cliché lines. Kind of like Administrative Professional Day or Bring Your (poor) Kid to Work Day. On this day of mandated anti-superficial conversation, “Hot enough for ya?” would be replaced with, “Did that girl call you back?”. “Good weekend?” would turn into, “Are you still having marital problems?”.

For anyone who accidentally slipped an “It’s goin’” line in response to “how’s it goin’?” would be forced to serve time in solitary confinement (the janitor closet) for the rest of the day. Or maybe a worse punishment would be requiring twenty minutes of small talk with that “weird” guy you work with. Of course the latter punishment would have to occur after Non-Superficial Day because if it didn’t, you’d land yourself right back in the janitor closet. Then again, the janitor closet may not be a bad place to spend a few hours during the work day?

I think the heat’s getting to me.


Give John Poole a little more heat at poolejohn@gmail.com

The World's Pastime

If the FIFA World Cup of Soccer in any way interests you please stand up (along with the real Slim Shady). That’s right, get out of your chair (I assume you’re sitting) and stand right up.

How many of you are standing?

I’d love to know.

Sunday afternoon brought a nationally televised grudge match between two European national teams. I think it was France and Italy, but really, who the hell knows.

Regulation ended in a way that far too many soccer games end – a 1-1 tie. Regulation was followed by two overtime sessions that did happen to provide some excitement. Unfortunately an actual goal was not part of this. It was a forehead of a French player landing on an Italian player’s chest that brought me to attention. The Frenchman’s over-zealous behavior landed him in the locker room for an early shower. The game then ended on an anti-climactic penalty kick session that made a mockery of goalies (excuse me – keepers). Those guys look pretty silly diving for the left corner while the ball flies in the right side. They should spin the kicker around ten times on a wiffle-ball bat before the kick to make it fair.

Unlike the scoring in the World Cup, the ratings in the US were surprisingly up – more than doubling the ratings of 2002. However, some attribute this increase to a more time-friendly location for live viewing (Germany vs. somewhere in Asia). I’ve even heard someone explain the higher US ratings by citing the onslaught of immigration since 2002.

So why does soccer pale in popularity to our beloved big three – football (American style), baseball, and basketball? Even the suffering NHL pulls more viewers that the MLS.

Some people think it’s because goals in soccer games are more infrequent than baseball players who aren’t using steroids. But let’s think about this – our national pastime has moments of outfield grass growing faster than the pace of the game, basketball can take forty-five minutes for the clock to move two, and don’t even get me started on hockey.

(For those of you looking for some criticism of American football it’s not going to happen because it does not exist)

So back to the question at hand – why do people in the US care more about the Professional Bowling Tour than Major League Soccer?

I think tradition plays a huge role. We grew up watching the big three and learning the history behind teams and players. Our brains became wired – just like the rest of the World was getting wired with stories and advertising of their respective soccer stars. And since we’re on the subject of advertising – it deserves some investigation. Soccer does not lend itself to frequent advertisement. Football, basketball, and baseball games can cut to commercial on a whim while soccer games rarely stop. In the land of capitalism, money not only talks, but determines what sports are most frequently televised. So I’ll just conveniently blame soccer’s lack of popularity on American greed.

Or maybe it’s because soccer is kind of boring.


Send John Poole some PKs at poolejohn@gmail.com

Irrelevant Discussion

The dog days of summer are upon us and so is the one holiday of the year that has the same name as the date on which it falls. This becomes particularly inconvenient when it falls midweek – how do we make a long weekend out of that?

I guess some people do call it Independence Day but I associate that more with a movie starring Will Smith, Bill Pullman, and a bunch of aliens trying to take over our unassuming planet. That movie was incredible back in 1996, but when I saw it again a few years ago and it sucked. What’s up with that? I guess movies with ex-stars of Spaceballs lose their luster after one viewing.

So my dilemma for this particular holiday is one of shear irrelevance. Of course you could argue that discussion of irrelevant topics does nothing but cause unnecessary stress, worry, and anxiety, but it could also cause increased mental stimulation. I usually opt out of the potential for the latter for fear of the former, but really what else do I have to do?

So what if we never had Independence Day? Not just the holiday, I mean if the whole damn thing never happened. That’s right, what if Benedict Arnold never threw that tea in the river or if Paul Revere never fired those first shots of the Revolution in Lexington, Virginia?

Ok, so my historical facts may be a bit off, but seriously, this easily could have happened. First of all, about a third of the colonists opposed even going to war. They were happy as clams sitting under the wing of the mother country (kind of like the mother-ship in Independence Day). Also, the Americans could have gone out and lost that war, in which case Britain would have remained in control of the colonies (at least for a while).

So if either of these two scenarios took place, would we be sitting here right now actually interested in the World Cup? Would we refer to dinner as “tea” or go out and hit a little ball around with a big flat board? Would we be more interested in the Pink Panther than Will Smith (or Bill Pullman)? Would we (God forbid) not be the World’s economic superpower?

Probably not, but it is kinda fun to think about. We probably would have weaseled our way out of British reign eventually, or the more likely situation would be that they would have become sick of dealing with our arrogant attitudes and just cut us loose. This definitely would have happened by the time bell-bottoms became popular out of shear disgust for our taste in fashion (did that start in Britain?).

The reality of the situation is that no one knows (and really, no one cares) what would have happened if John Hancock never threw down his John Hancock, but I do know that we would all be working on Tuesday the 4th.


Shoot me some fireworks at poolejohn@gmail.com