Save December

Have you ever wondered why December is the twelfth month but has origins from the Latin word decem for "ten" (you know kind of like decade)? I have. Somehow two months got slammed in there. There's monkey business going on I tell you - monkey business!

Apparently there were only ten months in the Roman calender and the winter period was "monthless" before some influential Roman decided to divide this winter period into January and February. Sounds believable enough I guess, who's going to dispute that one?

While December is in fact the twelfth month, it also brings some very long nights (in the northern hemisphere of course), bitter cold weather (in Delaware at least), huge company bonuses (to CEOs), and a yearly discussion about the inadequacy of the college football bowl system.

I swear this is the last time I will ever even think about college football until they institute a playoff system. I bitched about this two years ago (see Is the BCS a bunch of BS) and this will certainly be the last time. So I will take all my frustration and forever leave it on the hallowed gridiron of cyberspace.

This year hits particularly hard because my girlfriend, Jessica, went to Penn State and after spending four years in a drinking town with a football problem, she became a die-hard fan (of Penn State football). While Joe Paterno should probably be running a bingo club instead of a powerhouse college football team, Penn State should be playing for the 2008 National Championship. They had one hiccup against Iowa and their season is lost - it's a joke. But think about it, football coaches are some of the highest paid faculty members at a university and getting into the Viagra Bowl or Facebook Bowl is at least a little ammo with which they can fire back at folks that think they should be canned for having a mediocre year.

Anyway, I decided to write a song about it in an effort to persuade whoever the hell it is that could initiate a playoff system (Mr. Obama perhaps). Wanna hear it - here it go. Sung to the tune of Hokey Pokey.

You put the top eight in,
The rest are out.
You put the top eight in,
And you calculate them about.

You have a playoff system
And you've turned the whole damn thing around
Now, that's what it's all about!

Everybody now.....

You put Penn State in,
You take Ohio State out,
Alabama makes it,
And you'll never have a rout.

You wonder why the BCS
Even was around
Now, that's what it's all about!


See, all it take is an argument set to a lovely tune to make December the best sports month of the year. It's all about the presentation - I can't wait until next year.