Anti-Superficial Day
It’s hot.
It’s hotter than hell, heaven, heck, hades, habana, haiku, Hamsterdam, Hanukkah, jalapenos, Harlem, Havertown, Helen Hunt (in “Twister”), and HDTV.
O.K, I’m done. I feel much better now, however not cooler.
I know there really should be no complaining of the heat in the Vail Valley since there are only about two weeks a year that air conditioning is even remotely considered. It’s not an option for me because I don’t have it, or it doesn’t work, or something like that. And feel free to throw this back in my face when it’s minus 22 degrees (Fahrenheit) this winter, however I’ll deny ever writing this.
For me, as a native east coaster, Colorado summertime climate (especially in the mountains) is more arctic than tropical. But when July brings memories of growing up in the swampland of the Mid-Atlantic my negative attitude toward heat, and it’s nasty cousin humidity, inevitability comes gushing out faster than sweat from my exhausted pours.
Do you ever get the, “Is it hot enough for ya?” line at work? It’s right up there with, “Staying out of trouble?” and, “Doin’ OK for a Monday?” – I got that today actually.
What is the obsession with office talk about the weather? And it doesn’t only show up in the workplace – conversation with folks from other parts of the country is often chuck full of “how’s the weather” this and “what’s the weather like” that. A convenient topic I suppose, but it’s really nothing I’m dying to talk about after a night of attempting to sleep in a pool of perspiration.
Weather is the most benign topic about which any two human beings can possibly converse. It’s easy, sometimes entertaining, and most importantly, always there.
We should have one day a year that is nationally recognized as a day where you can’t use office cliché lines. Kind of like Administrative Professional Day or Bring Your (poor) Kid to Work Day. On this day of mandated anti-superficial conversation, “Hot enough for ya?” would be replaced with, “Did that girl call you back?”. “Good weekend?” would turn into, “Are you still having marital problems?”.
For anyone who accidentally slipped an “It’s goin’” line in response to “how’s it goin’?” would be forced to serve time in solitary confinement (the janitor closet) for the rest of the day. Or maybe a worse punishment would be requiring twenty minutes of small talk with that “weird” guy you work with. Of course the latter punishment would have to occur after Non-Superficial Day because if it didn’t, you’d land yourself right back in the janitor closet. Then again, the janitor closet may not be a bad place to spend a few hours during the work day?
I think the heat’s getting to me.
Give John Poole a little more heat at poolejohn@gmail.com
It’s hotter than hell, heaven, heck, hades, habana, haiku, Hamsterdam, Hanukkah, jalapenos, Harlem, Havertown, Helen Hunt (in “Twister”), and HDTV.
O.K, I’m done. I feel much better now, however not cooler.
I know there really should be no complaining of the heat in the Vail Valley since there are only about two weeks a year that air conditioning is even remotely considered. It’s not an option for me because I don’t have it, or it doesn’t work, or something like that. And feel free to throw this back in my face when it’s minus 22 degrees (Fahrenheit) this winter, however I’ll deny ever writing this.
For me, as a native east coaster, Colorado summertime climate (especially in the mountains) is more arctic than tropical. But when July brings memories of growing up in the swampland of the Mid-Atlantic my negative attitude toward heat, and it’s nasty cousin humidity, inevitability comes gushing out faster than sweat from my exhausted pours.
Do you ever get the, “Is it hot enough for ya?” line at work? It’s right up there with, “Staying out of trouble?” and, “Doin’ OK for a Monday?” – I got that today actually.
What is the obsession with office talk about the weather? And it doesn’t only show up in the workplace – conversation with folks from other parts of the country is often chuck full of “how’s the weather” this and “what’s the weather like” that. A convenient topic I suppose, but it’s really nothing I’m dying to talk about after a night of attempting to sleep in a pool of perspiration.
Weather is the most benign topic about which any two human beings can possibly converse. It’s easy, sometimes entertaining, and most importantly, always there.
We should have one day a year that is nationally recognized as a day where you can’t use office cliché lines. Kind of like Administrative Professional Day or Bring Your (poor) Kid to Work Day. On this day of mandated anti-superficial conversation, “Hot enough for ya?” would be replaced with, “Did that girl call you back?”. “Good weekend?” would turn into, “Are you still having marital problems?”.
For anyone who accidentally slipped an “It’s goin’” line in response to “how’s it goin’?” would be forced to serve time in solitary confinement (the janitor closet) for the rest of the day. Or maybe a worse punishment would be requiring twenty minutes of small talk with that “weird” guy you work with. Of course the latter punishment would have to occur after Non-Superficial Day because if it didn’t, you’d land yourself right back in the janitor closet. Then again, the janitor closet may not be a bad place to spend a few hours during the work day?
I think the heat’s getting to me.
Give John Poole a little more heat at poolejohn@gmail.com
posted by John Poole at 9:42 PM
1 Comments:
Can we still talk about caffeine on that day? I don't know if I could hold a conversation without mentioning caffeine, either.
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