Vote for Pedro

So I think I was about twenty years old before I realized there was more than one election every four years (Ok, I knew, but didn't really care). My memory from fourth grade government class was jogged when I was in college and there was a poster advertising the candidacy of a person running for State Representative of New Hampshire - it was the name of this candidate that boggled my mind more than anything. I swear to God I'm not lying about this - his name was Dick Swett. This particular election also featured a tight Governor race between Amanda Hump, Phil McAvity and the darkhorse Independent - Pat Myaz.

Since I'm registered to vote in Denver, I don't think I can vote in Eagle County, and if I can, don't even tell me because I'm not really into dealing with the whole thing. Ok, so I'm just another lazy American, but I did have enough raw ambition to pull up a website with the Eagle County Ballot and read through the candidates, referendums, and amendments on the bill.

They say that if you don't vote, you can't bitch. But what if you vote in the Presidential Election, but not in this interim stuff - can you still bitch about interim election topics and elects? While I'm waiting for "them" to get back to me on that I'm gonna go ahead and share some of my thoughts on some issues and elections that I found interesting on the Eagle County Ballot this year - and I'm not even going to address Amendment 43 (definition of marriage) because it is more asinine than a name like Ben Gurgen Hoffe.

Court of Appeals (Vote Yes or No)

Shall Judge Russell E. Carparelli of the Colorado Court of Appeals be retained in office?

Russ, Russ, Russ, did I tell you about the ticket I got while I was in the Eisenhower tunnel, just trying to keep up with traffic? What? That's not your County? I don't want hear excuses buddy, you're gone.

Regent of the University of Colorado - At Large (Vote for One)

Steven C. Ludwig
Brian Davidson
Daniel "Jefferson" Ong
Douglas "Dayhorse" Cambell
Marcus C. McCarty

Now I've heard of the University of Colorado at Boulder and at Denver, but at Large? Where's that? Oh well, I'll throw my two cents in at this Large place, it looks like they need a little direction. First of all, I'm immediately eliminating anyone with a name in quotation marks in between their first and last names. Then I'll go ahead and strike those two folk with a middle initial in their name. Are you guys too good to just go by two names like the rest of us? It looks like Davidson is my man. Congratulations Brian, you deserve it.

Sheriff (Vote for One)

Joseph Hoy
B. Scott Griffin

Ah, who cares? The mountain might get me but the law never will. Show me what you got Hoy.


Surveyor (Vote for One)

Dan Concoran

Vote for one? But there's only one guy on the Ballot? I refuse to partake. Isn't there more than one person in Eagle County that knows how to use a theodolite?

Amendment 44 (Vote Yes , No, or Too Stoned to See Straight)

Shall there be an amendment to section 18-18-406 (1) of the Colorado revised statutes making legal the possesion of one ounce or less of Marihuana (yes, that is how they spell it) for any person twenty-one years of age or older?

Boo-yah maaaahn. The streets will be full of pizza delivery cars with fogged up windows driving extremely slow.


Have fun at the polls. Let me know how it goes.


Send John Poole your absentee ballot at poolejohn@gmail.com.