A Covert Operation
“Operation is my favorite board game.”
Though this was a miserable pick-up line I used at a Halloween party this weekend on a woman that was dressed as the board game, I’m not entirely denying the truth of this statement. Operation was, and still is, a cool frickin’ game. Remember being huddled around the cardboard patient in anxious anticipation of the tweezers hitting the metal sides of one of the patient’s several open areas of surgery? Remember how hard it was to get that wishbone thing out? I think it was worth about five hundred dollars of fake money and you would feel like a total pimp if you got it out. I wonder if anyone was actually inspired to be a doctor by this game. I bet there is some poor soul out there that forever holds the secret of being driven to the medical profession by the exhilaration they once felt after beating their two little sisters and retarded neighbor in a board game by Milton Bradley.
Not only was Operation a fantastic learning experience in human anatomy, it was also probably my first hands-on encounter with the conduction of electricity. This fundamental milestone in human development came right about the same time I discovered the magical feeling of putting my tongue on a nine volt battery, but I forget which one actually came first. Regardless, Operation and the battery trick made the story I was just taught about Ben Franklin much more personal (did he really do that?).
So do you remember how the big red nose on the patient lit up when you got the yips on the hip-bone? Even though I proclaimed Operation as my favorite board game to this attractive girl at the party, it amazingly slipped my mind that the nose lit up like a drunken Irishman when you would crack under the overwhelming pressure.
“What’s with the red nose?”
Whoops. My obvious brilliance at attracting women was evidently derailed in a moment of awkward conversation. Could she now use her god-given power of deductive reasoning and figure out that Operation was not in fact my favorite board game and that I was just another cheese-ball dressed like a 70’s track star with a huge afro? Naaaah.
It’s amazing how through your life Halloween turns from a night of excitement about running through the streets of your neighborhood with a sheet over your head collecting bags of M&Ms that are small enough to be classified as an insult, to a drunk fest full of superheroes, Pirates of the Caribbean, chicks in 50’s outfits, and one-liners that would normally land a high heel in your crotch.
I was given a 1 by a female friend (I’m assuming out of 10 but it could have been out of 100) on my attempt with Operation girl, but though my luck was less than spectacular on this particular Halloween, I do believe that Halloween has to be the easiest night of the year to throw out wildly pathetic pick up lines - any maybe get away with it.
“Can I hold your sword?”
“What would ever inspire you to dress up like Marilyn Monroe? That‘s soooo cool.”
“Do you want to be a real rock star some day?”
“You’re hotter than the real Princess Leia.”
Ok, they suck too, but with a little premeditation I bet you probably have a better chance on Halloween than any other night - and my experience this year is of course a testament to that.
“What uhhhhh, other board games are you into?”
Shoulda, woulda, coulda.
Share some stories of spectacular costumes and less than spectacular advances at poolejohn@gmail.com.
Though this was a miserable pick-up line I used at a Halloween party this weekend on a woman that was dressed as the board game, I’m not entirely denying the truth of this statement. Operation was, and still is, a cool frickin’ game. Remember being huddled around the cardboard patient in anxious anticipation of the tweezers hitting the metal sides of one of the patient’s several open areas of surgery? Remember how hard it was to get that wishbone thing out? I think it was worth about five hundred dollars of fake money and you would feel like a total pimp if you got it out. I wonder if anyone was actually inspired to be a doctor by this game. I bet there is some poor soul out there that forever holds the secret of being driven to the medical profession by the exhilaration they once felt after beating their two little sisters and retarded neighbor in a board game by Milton Bradley.
Not only was Operation a fantastic learning experience in human anatomy, it was also probably my first hands-on encounter with the conduction of electricity. This fundamental milestone in human development came right about the same time I discovered the magical feeling of putting my tongue on a nine volt battery, but I forget which one actually came first. Regardless, Operation and the battery trick made the story I was just taught about Ben Franklin much more personal (did he really do that?).
So do you remember how the big red nose on the patient lit up when you got the yips on the hip-bone? Even though I proclaimed Operation as my favorite board game to this attractive girl at the party, it amazingly slipped my mind that the nose lit up like a drunken Irishman when you would crack under the overwhelming pressure.
“What’s with the red nose?”
Whoops. My obvious brilliance at attracting women was evidently derailed in a moment of awkward conversation. Could she now use her god-given power of deductive reasoning and figure out that Operation was not in fact my favorite board game and that I was just another cheese-ball dressed like a 70’s track star with a huge afro? Naaaah.
It’s amazing how through your life Halloween turns from a night of excitement about running through the streets of your neighborhood with a sheet over your head collecting bags of M&Ms that are small enough to be classified as an insult, to a drunk fest full of superheroes, Pirates of the Caribbean, chicks in 50’s outfits, and one-liners that would normally land a high heel in your crotch.
I was given a 1 by a female friend (I’m assuming out of 10 but it could have been out of 100) on my attempt with Operation girl, but though my luck was less than spectacular on this particular Halloween, I do believe that Halloween has to be the easiest night of the year to throw out wildly pathetic pick up lines - any maybe get away with it.
“Can I hold your sword?”
“What would ever inspire you to dress up like Marilyn Monroe? That‘s soooo cool.”
“Do you want to be a real rock star some day?”
“You’re hotter than the real Princess Leia.”
Ok, they suck too, but with a little premeditation I bet you probably have a better chance on Halloween than any other night - and my experience this year is of course a testament to that.
“What uhhhhh, other board games are you into?”
Shoulda, woulda, coulda.
Share some stories of spectacular costumes and less than spectacular advances at poolejohn@gmail.com.
posted by John Poole at 7:51 PM
1 Comments:
I went as Moses one year. A robe made from a tablecloth, a rope for a belt, a $5 wig/beard combination, and a pair of tablets made from cardboard, spray paint, and a Sharpie and I was on my way to fame.
The best part was the Commandments: 1) Thou shalt party ! 2) Thou shalt give thy phone number to Moses, 3) Honor thy keg, etc. It worked. Moses descended from the mountaintop (i.e., down the stairs into the basement party) and lit up as the polyester suit was illuminated by black light. Party-goers fell to their knees - including not one, but three "French Maids" who Moses wished would remain in that position. Several T&T's and plenty of neighbor's wife's ass coveting later, I made my way home with some new numbers chiseled into my tablets.
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