Another Lovely Holiday
Ahhhhh, its another year and another Valentine's Day. And what a day it is - a day where we put undue pressure on ourselves to celebrate our love life or wallow in our pathetic loneliness - neither of which is overly positive. However, the cynic in me will come out and tout corporate America for marketing the hell out of V-day and making quite a killing.
I've never really liked V-day (if you couldn't tell), and contrary to popular belief it isn't because I've been on the single side of the fence for the past few. The reason I don't like it is because its not only useless - but counterproductive. You either make couples feel like they must have some magical night (which of course is impossible), or make single girls get drunk and eat a quart and a half of Ben and Jerry's. Who needs any of the that?
Single men of course will opt for the self-punishment route of watching a basketball game alone and then calling up their favorite porno websites, all-the-while internally begging themselves to be more aggressive with women between now and next February 14 (because of course aggressive behavior is the only way to get chicks).
I once proposed a group called the NAEVD (pronounce "naved") - The National Association for the Eradication of Valentines Day. We didn't quite get off the ground. I mentioned it to a few people and they looked at me like I was Jeffrey Dahmer. In fact, I think they would have been a little more receptive to a friendly Jeffrey Dahmer than an opinionated non-human eater proposing the eradication of Valentine's Day.
Regardless, I still wouldn't mind a shift. Maybe we could make it a friendship day. Where everyone holds hands (while singing Kumbaya) and celebrates all the positive relationships in their life (romantic or otherwise). We could still buy cards, candies, Ben and Jerry's, and flowers. Why the hell not?
Ah screw it, the Sixers are playing Tuesday night and I've got an internet connection running faster than ever.
I've never really liked V-day (if you couldn't tell), and contrary to popular belief it isn't because I've been on the single side of the fence for the past few. The reason I don't like it is because its not only useless - but counterproductive. You either make couples feel like they must have some magical night (which of course is impossible), or make single girls get drunk and eat a quart and a half of Ben and Jerry's. Who needs any of the that?
Single men of course will opt for the self-punishment route of watching a basketball game alone and then calling up their favorite porno websites, all-the-while internally begging themselves to be more aggressive with women between now and next February 14 (because of course aggressive behavior is the only way to get chicks).
I once proposed a group called the NAEVD (pronounce "naved") - The National Association for the Eradication of Valentines Day. We didn't quite get off the ground. I mentioned it to a few people and they looked at me like I was Jeffrey Dahmer. In fact, I think they would have been a little more receptive to a friendly Jeffrey Dahmer than an opinionated non-human eater proposing the eradication of Valentine's Day.
Regardless, I still wouldn't mind a shift. Maybe we could make it a friendship day. Where everyone holds hands (while singing Kumbaya) and celebrates all the positive relationships in their life (romantic or otherwise). We could still buy cards, candies, Ben and Jerry's, and flowers. Why the hell not?
Ah screw it, the Sixers are playing Tuesday night and I've got an internet connection running faster than ever.
posted by John Poole at 9:13 AM
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